Just when I under estimate God being with me when the enemy has me down, he prevails. He is the only thing in this world that is constant. His promises never prevail. Battles are always won, prayers are answered, he never turns his back. When the power of God prevails it is always on top. I am a wreck at work even now that I am saved it seems like the enemy wants to use this avenue to just attack me. I have prayed whether or not to leave but the way things line up it seems like God wants me to stay there for some odd reason. However financially I always have plenty to eat and plenty to give. But Monday night at a Christmas party I recieved one of the most amazing blessings that a man of God could get. A brother in Christ who is willing to pray with me and hold me accountable. A brother in Christ who is willing to take time and mentor in how to deal with the stress of a job. Even though I know a lot about that place....the same people and things cause me to break. But now because he has seen that I trust in him with everything, now that he sees I will shout for his glory, another brother has been brought into my life that will make me a stronger warrior.

Times are changing like freaken crazy. People are changing. I am being called an "old fart" which is kinda weird. But while everything in this world might change, the single thing inside me that drives me day to day will never go away. If I choose to renew it day by day I will be strengthen even when the outward world is perishing. I hope and pray that in these next coming months that I can show the outward world that struggles the amazing fire that drives me. That my friend is Jesus Christ. I can no longer continue to live to the things that run this world. Rather I must die to my worldly desires and give up EVERYTHING. If that means LITERALLY GIVING UP EVERYTHING AND FLYING TO COSTA RICA FOR A YEAR THEN I AM READY. I AM READY TO BE THE HANDS AND FIGHT LIKE OF THE SAVIOR THAT PICKED ME UP FROM A LIFE OF BROKENNESS.