Is there something up or am I just worrying

No matter if is it about life friends or even family in general I sometimes fear things. I sometimes fear that my friends do not see me as a righteous humble man of God. Lately it seems like my actions have not been lining up. I have been screwing up a lot lately when it comes to making priorities in my life. Honestly no matter what happens, happiness in the world is only temporary. Whether it is with being successful golf course, hanging out with a bunch of dudes, getting that A on that test, it lasts for a short amount of time. What makes me joyful and feel like a champ or hero is when I bring brothers to Christ. Maybe I have given up on that. Maybe I have become apathetic on taking up my cross daily. Maybe that is why that I have fallen by to old desires and feelings. The desires of my heart really dictate everything else The condition of my heart determines everything.