I really do not understand somethings. I really do not understand how much I pray, no matter how much I bring it to the cross, no matter how much I try not to think about it, it does not go away. Honestly this is something that has plauged my mind for weeks......maybe months. This is someone who has overcome so much through Christ. But this area or gray area that sometimes is so confusing it brings me down. I need to pray for God for more clarity. I know that some people might find it stupid and worthless to go off the deep end over but I dont. But I know on God's time maybe months or years everything will make since.