I sat in my fraternity chapter tonight just thinking. Thinking about what God has done in my life. My mom and grandmother came to Celebration for the time ever this morning and I ended up crying. Just because of how awesome God really is. You see I am nothing. I dress "fratastic" to be confident. I still worry. Heck theres been an occassion or two where I drinked too much in the past year. And school wise I still slack off.

But the one thing that is domiant is Christ. Christ turned anything upside down. In 8th months Christ took me from nothing to something. From a man who spent a night in jail, battled with alcohol, and excuses for everything.

R.U.S.H

I was literally on campus from 7am to 10pm and I had no classes today. I was out for two reasons Jesus Christ and my brothers. This past summer I have been on fire. I have been on radiant transformation that is unstoppable. I no longer fear what tommorow might bring. I no longer fear the stupid crap or temptation of this world. A simple mind set with a simple servant's heart can do wonders in such a fast paced world. I am really bad with names. I probaley caught up with every person brother friend prospect mentor in the entire world. But it is nice because a lot of them can see progression. But what some do not understand it is not about me. It is about the power of Jesus Christ. The power of Jesus Christ has turned my life upside down.


I found out that I will be DUNKED aka baptized in Costa Rica. I have no idea what God is doing to do. But there is one thing for 5 straight days the things of this will break and all folks will see is God and the holy spirit. I am not going to CONVICT people I am going to show them UNSTOPPABLE LOVE. My goal this semester in the rush of things is to be continously showing unstoppable love unstoppable compassion unstoppable genorousity for a God who is unstoppable in his love for me. Bring on man seriously.

selfishness

as followers of Jesus Christ one of the things we are always focusing on its ourself. In God's presence we are always trying to improve ourselves as followers of Jesus Christ. But what we need to focus on sometimes more like most of the time is how we are going to use are God given gifts to lead followers. Because when I reach that gate, I want to have a band of brothers by my side of men especially I lead to Christ. I have an amazing opporunity to do this. And that is through my fraternity. I was at a meeting this past Sunday and learned that 81 percent of people who are saved are lead by friends/family. My goal this semester......lead brothers to Christ through any ways and share the great news of the gosepl with them.

3 weeks to go

I really think that the enemy is trying to pull every string in the book from getting me away from going to Costa Rica. He running around like an idiot because a team of men and women are about to go and do great things for God. I guess this dude took a huge swing at me last night. I know we all make stupid decisions, but this one came out of nowhere. Not only did I make a fool of myself but I let one of my brothers down. I let one of my brothers down who is doing great things for Jesus. The last thing he needs is for another man of God to make a fool of himself.

To put the icing on the cake I woke up from a dream this morning that brought me back to my past. Let me tell you this THERE IS NOTHING NOT A THING IN THIS WORLD THAT IS GOING TO HOLD ME BACK. IF I CRY EVERYDAY FOR GOD'S LOVE AND MERCY THEN I SHALL. Lets face it I do not cry much. But I have cried 4 times in the past 7 days. Its God working within me. Its God strengthening me. It is God working in my heart.

I am worried about something that is 10 months down the road. This world sucks and the enemy is using the news to try and make me feel less confident about the future. But Iknow for a fact if I do great things for God in the upcoming months, things will work out.

The fraternity

When people think of greek life it is often illustrated by drinking and girl chasing. However since being in the the Xi Psi chapter of the Kappa Sigma Fraternity, it has brought me so much: three best men at my wedding, men of God to exemplify/mentor with, experiences I will never forget(AT, camping, golf, semi/formals), a band of brothers to always turn to, leadership skills, confidence, professional attitude. Lets face it God wanted me to be apart of something great while in college and I have. The reason I am writing this is because some of my fellow brothers have grown apathetic because of things not going their way. I have always and will continue to be a team player. Even when something is done and I do not agree with it I will stick to the team vision/purpose. And that is our star and crescent. As long as we are living/acting within the purpose/vision of the organization I will continue to do great things because it has given me so much.

I turn to Jesus for perseverance. He is the starter and finisher of our faith. His vision was handed down to him by God and through his perfect heart and spirit he kept pushing. He just did not all of a sudden stop and give up preaching the word, performing miracles, he kept going. He kept going even when death was near his footsteps. Could you imagine God calling you to be crucified and having to die a horrific death? Well my friend you do not have to worry because he sent his only Son so we could be uplifted and saved.

So everything everything that I do in life I will do with the 110 percent effort until it is done. No mater how many times people might blow me off, no matter how many times people might talk crap, no matter how many times we lose at something I will finish the job. Diligence and commitment create a new man within us. Especially walking in the light of our savior. If we turn to God through prayer he will make us great finishers. Finishers who are team players, and who do not complain and just do. Do great things within an organization job or even family.

My testimony powerful in ways that only Jesus Christ knows

A year ago to this day on the outside it looked like I had everything together. I walked and talked like it. I was that "genuine fraternity guy that was the life of the ocassion". I believed in a god and Jesus Christ but I used every excuse in the book to not go to church. I was too busy or that church was only out for getting money out of me. But some things I had loads of time for were sorority girls, whisky, a short temper, and a mouth like a sailor. The man I saw in the mirror was not the man Jesus visioned me to be.

Then on September 5th I spent the night in a 6x8 box. This box brought me to an all time low. This box made me feel lonely and defeated. In the box I saw demons and the enemy playing his antics. But once I was out of the box I experinced a "god of second chances."

I spent the last couple of months searching for who I really was. But it was still all about what I wanted. Part of me still wanted to be the man on campus. And the funny part is that I was inactive from the fraternity due to crappy decisions and grades. Finally on January 6th I made the decision to no longer grip onto the things of this of this world. My roomate brothers and other friends throughout UNF lead me to a beaming radiant light you could see miles away. A radiant light that is lead by men and women from all races and backrounds. A radiant light that puts Jesus Christ first through love community and compassion.

A 21 day fast finally awakend my heart and mind to the awesome moving power of Jesus Christ. Like John the Baptist blessed Jesus, I was not baptized with water or oil but rather a fire of the holy spirit radiating in my heart. Ultimately when a man comes to grip with what is inside his heart and mind the wants of the flesh begin to weaken.. I am talking about a constant fire that keeps me going day to day week to week. A fire that has given me the ability to lead close friends and brothers to Jesus. And even my mother God revealed change in her life.

I believe in a God of 2nd chances

My flesh grows tired. My body grows weak and tired. Sometimes when not taken care of it grows so weak you might have a close heat stroke while playing golf in driple digit heat. But a spirit that is constantly renewed in the word of God, can conquer anything. A spirit that is constantly reminded of Jesus Christ, our spirit can conquer our flesh's weaknesses. Mind over matter. I truely believe that if God wants something to happen he will break all barriers through our spirit if we constantly renew it. Does that mean I can go bench 275? Negative. What glory is that going to do for God's kingdom? But can I go to Costa Rica? Can I be transformed into a man who leads middle/high school youth and his own fraternity brothers to Jesus Christ? Can I be transformed into a servant who gives unstoppable love and compassion? Can I be transformed into a pelicular man? Can I even with no voice still scream my lung out in worship almost 15 songs in one night? I can because of one God. Thank you so much

This One Goes Deep

I cannot believe that almost a year ago I was literally in a box. Physically and mentally I was in perhaps the darkest point of my life. I was consumed in the things of this world. But from the outside I had it together. Inside there was nothing. I talked walked dressed and acted like I had it together. How could a guy with amazing brothers, family, and many talents be so broken? I had gotten so far away from my foundation. My foundation as strong as a rock had now become little as a nickel or dime in my heart. I think maybe sitting in a 6x8 box if you want to call it that can bring out the worst demons in anyone. I felt low hopeless and lost.

But now 8 months later that foundation Jesus Christ is moving and radiant in my heart. The holy spirit moves almost every 10 minutes. Its that "little voice speaking to me inside." I know that's God. I know when I bring everything.....I mean everything to Jesus Christ he makes things better. Sure there are still parts of me I need to fix, but Jesus Christ has fixed a lot of things about me. I no longer sway from party to party and get the utmost enjoyment. I no longer go off the deep end over the stupidest things. I no longer make school a 2nd or 3rd priority next to girls and drinking. The walk I am on right now thank you Jesus for rescuing me. Thank you Jesus for turning my life upside down and making things better. Thank you Jesus for giving me the strength and confidence to no longer bind on to the things of this world. Thank you Jesus for giving me the courage to go overseas with people I have never met before to Costa Rica and do everything in your name. This fall I am going to take more leaps and meet more people. The next year will set the stage for the next big chapter in my life. I am just so glad to be on "the right path".

Messed Up

Just because I serve God and go to church does not mean I am perfect. I still sometimes have days where there are hours where I lose hope. There are still sometimes I do not pray enough. There are still times where I go to places I should not go. But the great thing about Jesus Christ is when you begin to serve him he will still you no matter how messed up you are to serve him. For example could you imagine people who serve the president for example his advisors and staff? They have "perfect resumes" with graduating from schools like Yale Harvard etc. They look and act perfect because they have to. But the king of kings I serve will even use people from all walks of life. For example when I was pulling out of Celebration I saw this family all rocking out Ralph Lauren and driving a Lexus. And then another family driving what looked like to be an older model car. There is no other man in this world who treats his sons and daughters in this way.

The future still crosses my mind but it does not stress me out. Instead I just think of what amazing blessing God has brought into my life. Sometimes the enemy likes to elevate failures and descend victories. This is coming from someone who always has a positive outlook on life. This is coming from someone who highlights a person's strengths rather than weaknesses. But through prayer and retweaking your thinking through the holy spirit, ratinale and thinking change. I know I sound like a psychologist but its kind of what Ive done inside my head.

My 102 year old great grandmother is moving to Jacksonville. She is like Mother Teresa. A life long lady of God who is really old school. I mean she can get around with a cane and walk around like she owns the place. I cannot wait