I sometimes think that Christmas in this world is completely blown out of proportion. But to those who have been rescued by our savior, to those who have ever been moved by our savior, to those who have ever won a single battle because of our savior know for a fact Christmas is the greatest day ever. I am honestly in shock and awe because IN ONLY ONE YEAR THE SAVIOR HAS SAVED ME. So much has happend that it could last the old Eric a lifetime. BECAUSE THE REASON I TAKE IT AS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. THE COMING OF THE MESSIAH IN FLESH IS AN ACT OF WAR BY GOD TO SEND HIS SON TO CONQUER DEATH AND HIS PEOPLE. NOT THROUGH WEAPONS OF KILLING BUT RATHER OF LOVE GRACE AND HUMBLENESS.

Just when I under estimate God being with me when the enemy has me down, he prevails. He is the only thing in this world that is constant. His promises never prevail. Battles are always won, prayers are answered, he never turns his back. When the power of God prevails it is always on top. I am a wreck at work even now that I am saved it seems like the enemy wants to use this avenue to just attack me. I have prayed whether or not to leave but the way things line up it seems like God wants me to stay there for some odd reason. However financially I always have plenty to eat and plenty to give. But Monday night at a Christmas party I recieved one of the most amazing blessings that a man of God could get. A brother in Christ who is willing to pray with me and hold me accountable. A brother in Christ who is willing to take time and mentor in how to deal with the stress of a job. Even though I know a lot about that place....the same people and things cause me to break. But now because he has seen that I trust in him with everything, now that he sees I will shout for his glory, another brother has been brought into my life that will make me a stronger warrior.

Times are changing like freaken crazy. People are changing. I am being called an "old fart" which is kinda weird. But while everything in this world might change, the single thing inside me that drives me day to day will never go away. If I choose to renew it day by day I will be strengthen even when the outward world is perishing. I hope and pray that in these next coming months that I can show the outward world that struggles the amazing fire that drives me. That my friend is Jesus Christ. I can no longer continue to live to the things that run this world. Rather I must die to my worldly desires and give up EVERYTHING. If that means LITERALLY GIVING UP EVERYTHING AND FLYING TO COSTA RICA FOR A YEAR THEN I AM READY. I AM READY TO BE THE HANDS AND FIGHT LIKE OF THE SAVIOR THAT PICKED ME UP FROM A LIFE OF BROKENNESS.

There are certain times when a person can seek God in greater ways. For me personally nightime at my parents house when everyone is asleep and I start to think of the days events conversations and interactions, I seek God. And when I seek him through devo worship he is there. He is there to comfort me. He is there to heal me. He is there to help me.

Seasons

This semester has brought it share of good and bad. But one thing remains and shall remain. That is the power of Jesus Christ can get anyone through anything. I hate to be so literal but there were so many days weeks where I longed for a miracle involving some situations. However one thing that has kept me going day by day hour by hour is the holy spirit moving in me. One thing learned is perservernce. Next semester obidence in all aspects of my life is something that I am going to strive for. New doors will opening people will come and go however my faith in God will not.

At one point after Thanksgiving I lost my truck, my new apartment, a best friend, my position in the fraternity, and the respect of some folks. All of those worldy things do not matter. However where God has me now I have the ability to capitalize on so many opporunities he has blessed me with. Next semester I will get back into serving at Celebration. The fraternity is still my mission field however I am going at it with a different approach. I tried being a "pastor" to my brothers however I did not take the time to sit down with any of them and talk about their probelms. To share the gospel you have to be willing to take the time and effort to dive into someone's heart and mindset. That is how I came so close. A good friend took the time and energy. By the way thanks my brother. Just because I have failed in some areas according to the world, I havent in the eyes of Jesus Christ because he is the only one who sees the strength and love in my heart through the holy spirit. Thanks father friend and brother.

Obligations are broken, cirumstances keeping getting worse, tommorow can determine so much. But through these past couple weeks of a car accident studying for a final that might determine how much longer I am in college, and even a living situation being in turmoil DOES not keep me worrying. Well yes it does but no matter how many times I turn to God he follows through. No matter how many situations or circumstances might weigh me down....I KEEP GETTING THROUGH. It amazes me how God's love and power can get us through anything. I mean look in the bible Elijah was fed by ravens, when nailed to a cross and sent to hell God's son was risen from the dead. God's love and promice always follows through for those who are obident in his teachings.

I can no longer live a life worrying everyday how things might line up. It seems the darts and shots keep getting thrown at me. This semester especially but SO MANY God things have been lined up for me. Yet the world or enemy wants to illustrate the bad things. But I keep writing and telling myself "Eric if you did not have God you would be a warrior who can get through the things of this world." Either you would be a quiter worrier. I AM NOT ANY OF THOSE ANYMORE I AM A WARRIOR WITH THE POWER OF JESUS CHRIST THAT CAN CONQUER ANY MOUNTAIN. If I have to climb 5 mountains in one week then so be it. It is not how we start the race it is how we finish it. I pray that I can end up victorious in these next coming weeks.

Just driving from breakfast to class on the day before Thanksgiving, I can feel all of the stress uncertainity and tension that the holidays bring is gone. I know what I need to do because God has not only been there for me in the past but he will continue to be there. As long as I call onto him he will show me great and mighty things. He will get you through days even weeks of uncertainity. No longer will I walk this earth in worry. Because nor height or depth, nor any human or thing of this world can seperate you from the love of Jesus Christ.

In order to recieve the blessings of the all powerful and loving God, you have to obey and have a realtionship with his Son. It is not one judged by actions words, but mainly the status of your heart. The heart is the sole center piece of the human body. It runs everything even our thought process. Some of us often get discouraged when our actions can not align with our heart. Have u ever "man I want go to serve but....why bother?" God sees the iniative and effort that means your heart is being transformed. And when that happens through Jesus Christ "he wants to give you a high five or big hug." Through prayer time and surrounding yourself by the right things, that mental effort will turn into action. And the people of this world will wonder "of all people how in the heck is he serving with such a strong bold heart?" Only because of Jesus Christ.

Fight the Good Fight

To fight the good fight of faith requires a special type of person. It requires a handful of individuals who are willing to do anything to share the gospel to a lost generation. For me this semester has been full of ups and downs. It has not been your typical college semester for some of the stuff that I have experienced and went through. But honestly I am not holding these things against myself or God. Instead I glorify him because he got me through some of those "hiccups" in the context of some.

But my friend there is still work to be done. I wish honestly some who profess they believe in Jesus Christ would get out of their Christian social click Would get off their rear end, get their hands dirty, and help out. Not in a creepy way, not in a condemning way. But for Pete sake's if you see someone next to you struggling share them the gospel! Take them out to lunch coffee or even invite them to church and be like "hey man I know life is rough but I want you to know I am here for you no matter what and that I am praying for you." Therse a start. When non believers get saved they will not remember an awesome church sermon or pastor, they will remember a friend stranger or co worker taking time out of their schedule to share them the love and story of Jesus Christ. Because once they know he provides a life of purpose comfort and direction, the things of this world will lose their grip. Sounds easier than it is especially when you are working 25 hours, going to church, internship, family, fraternity, etc. Oh yeah and some might reject you. But never lose heart friend.

Through life and the business about graduating, God has pulled me away from some things that used to help me build up my walk with him. This is including spending a heck of a lot less time with spiritual friends who were men. Grant it right now if I ever needed prayer I could call from 3-5 of my brothers or spiritual friends and they would drop everything and be there for me. However some guys who were there with me everyday we have other occupations. But the enenmy has gotten into my head to think "those friendships are gone because you'll do not hang out." Well the fact is when you get a full time job, get married, and start having other life occupations as a young adult, they will eventually fade away. The bond of brotherhood and friendship will be there as God's blessing. DO NOT EVER FORGET THAT FRIEND.

I guess maybe right now with only 6 to 7 weeks left in the semester, there is still much to be done. I honestly feel that God is working in many of my brothers heart however someone or somebody needs to show them how to change their heart and walk in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. Somebody needs to show them what the power of Jesus Christ can do. Somebody needs to offer hope and prosperity of the gospel. Somebody needs to be that beaken of light in the dark. Somebody needs to show them even when the outside world of this campus is caving in....they NEVER LOSE HEART.

What does not need to be shown is someone who brings his own brother down. Someone who is not bold. Someone who has the potential to do great things all in the name of God but does not follow through. 6 months later 60 years later this mission field will not be here. This mission field I think is unique because my words and lasting impressions can set the fire of Jesus Christ in someones heart and last them an entire lifetime. Someone who has never seen God can see God through me, AND THATS IT. That is all they might need. It is time to stop get rid of the excuses, its time to get rid of the arrogantness. Jesus I pray for repentance. I pray that as the broken man I thank you for allowing me to serve you. I thank you for giving me the purpose and believing, even when I have given up on myself.

TFM

A website that is a blog and twitter for fraternity men is really consuming a lot of my brothers life. It is ok to be arrogant, it is ok to haze, it is ok to get drunk, it is ok to be a rich elitist. Being "fratty" by the way you act and dress is the norm in my fraternity. Being so consumed and surrounded by this, it has rubbed on me. I am honestly guilty of all of these things above. For this season unlike Costa Rica FUSE or Celebration Church this is my mission field. Out of all of them it has been the hardest even when I have a great relationship with many of my brothers. I pray to Jesus Christ that I can break this stereotype. I am not a fratdaddy I am not a elitist rather I am a unstoppable worshipper and follower of Jesus Christ. We are often judged by our actions words facebook statuses and by the way we dress. Do not be something or somebody that God has not called you to be.

I pray to God almighty that I can get back to what has been such a strong point of progression in my life. Prayer fasting and serving like the character of Jesus Christ. My friend if a man can do that the traits words and actions that illustrates someone will replicate someone who above all else walks in the light of God. When I preach to by brother "lets be humble and kind in all of our relationships both inside and outside this fraternity." Then next minute I am at Applebees talking crap another fraternity guy......wow that's showing character.

Honestly last week was the hardest week for me I can remember in years. It was a battle to make it day by day hour by hour but I got through it I conquered another mountain. It was because Jesus Christ is so in me I can conquer any mountain. One of my brothers who I went to church was involved in a DUI homicide. My dog died and I missed work because my truck stalled on me. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. But I never gave up because I had amazing people surrounded by me to pick me up. God has blessed me with so many spiritual folks on fire for Jesus to help guide me and lift me through tough times. IO Alan Marsh Josh Turner Kyle Johnson Tyler Young John Jordan my girlfriend the list goes on.

The situation with my brother is rough. I have never dealt with any sort of situation like this before. But I know that god will prevail through my friend's life. I know that if my friend and brother continues to pray and stay strong God will come into his heart. He is looking at a lengthy trial and time in jail, which I could not go through myself.

I started asking myself that could of been me. All of those time I drove home drunk I could of been in that boat. I could of killed somebody and and been in jail for 10-15 years of my life. Last week I was in tears everyday. Last week I could barely walk to class and function as a human. But the best way to overcome this from a friend's perspective is to move on. Let God take care of the situation and pray for healing and strength in my friend. I WILL NEVER LOSE HEART I WILL NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON HIM I WILL BE AT THE TRIAL I WILL KEEP IN CONTACT WITH HIM I WILL PRAY FOR HIM AND FOR HIS FAMILY EVEN IF HE IS FAR AWAY I WILL VISIT HIM. I WILL NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON MY FRIEND BECAUSE JESUS CHRIST NEVER GAVE UP ON ME.

This is not about me, this is about Jesus Christ and the hope grace and refuge we can find in them. I just pray I can find ways and words to say to help grieve with my friend and fellow brothers. Thank you Josh Turner for giving me the words to say. Thank you for believing. Thank you for pouring your heart out to this college student. Thank you for talking to me after SUB30 and making things line up.

I have been pushed to the brink with the current situations. I have never been so drastically moved by the grace of Jesus Christ in my life in the past couple of days. I hit an all time low with a couple of severe incidents this week. But I never was alone. I had friends brothers a pastor and spiritual leaders give me fire and inspiration back. I NEVER LOSE HEART. Because he died for me, and I will continue to serve him. Because there are soo many people in this world that need his love. Imagine a world with no crying no pain no suffering no weeping. Imagine a world of no slavery genocide and war. Because my friend that is what heaven is going to look like. It says in the bible that 1 day in heaven is better than 1000 of our best days on earth. I can not wait. But I still have to bring my friends and family to the truth....the ultimate truth. Walking the narrow path takes commitment patience grace and dying to your wants and needs daily. But if you never lose heart and walk by faith, Christ renews your soul day by day. Times get tough there are so many questions to ask but you have to keep on pushing.

No longer do I carry the wants of my flesh on my shoulders, I carry the wants and needs of the people in my life. And I have the most amazing thing to reveal to them. A relationship with Jesus. To show them grace and a life of purpose.

MY BROTHERS

I can honestly see within the past couple of weeks my brothers coming closer to God. I know some how some way that they are starting to pray and thank him for the many blessings that he gives us. But my main goal is to bring the focus to Jesus Christ. My main goal is to teach them about what it truely means to have a personal day to day hour to hour realtionship with him. Because my friend that is how we can............above all else walk in the light of God. And I hate to say this I do not know what others think......if you do not have Jesus Christ you have no purpose. If you do not have Jesus Christ I hate to say this it breaks every nerve in my body but you could spend the rest of life in a bottomless pit. If I were to say this to some I might lose friends brothers and even family. But he is the way the truth and the life. He is the good shepard who never leaves his flock. He is one man who endured hell for 3 days and then rose to heaven. He is the man who took this man from a jail cell to Costa Rica to Africa. Get him just a small chance and he will show you the great and mighty things for which he does not know.

Why Bother

1. Why bother going to work everyday and being humble and kind when everyone else is not doing the same
2. Why bother to above all else walk in the light of God...never lose heart....even when every man friend and family member is perishing
3. Why bother to go to church when I perscuted the church of corruption almost a year ago
4. Why bother living a life of integrity when everyone else around you is getting laid and drunk left and right.
5. Why bother standing for God
6. Why bother showing unstoppable encouragment when people ignore it


IF THERE IS FAITH IN ANY GOD THERE IS GOING TO BE FEAR ALWAYS PLANTED IN THE WAY OF YOUR DREAMS ACTIONS AND ASPIRATIONS FOR GOD......IT IS THE ENEMY

One Life One Chance

We pass through this earth only once. We only have one life one chance and spending eternal life with the king of kings and lord of lords. I want to live to be 100 years old. Thank you God for repentance and salvation because I have messed up a lot. Thank you for Jesus Christ giving me a second chance at life. And a life with purpose. When I reach the gates of heaven I want every thought fiber action and word to be in the honor of God. I want to tell him "God I never did give up I never quit because Jesus Christ didn't quit on me in saving my life" Time after time I got drunk, time after time I cursed and did everything for myself. He never quit in paying the ultimate sacrifice. When he knew about the pain and bloodshed he would have to go through, he kept pushing. Day by day second by second minute by minute.

I hate to be blunt but sometimes it is the ultimate truth. I see so many people spend an entire lifetime living for the wrong purpose. If they only knew about the power in God. If they only knew that THE SAME POWER THAT CONQUERED THE GRAVE CAN HEAL ALL OF THEIR WORRIES FEARS IN LIFE. The same power that took a man from a jail cell, to Costa Rica, to Kenya in 2011. God has given me the power not to take baby steps but GIANT LEEPS. Giant leaps all for him in confidence day by day week by week. I honestly feel sometimes I am walking on a tight rope because I have accomplished so much in so little time. But it is not me. IT IS GOD MAN COME ON I PRAY FOR PEOPLE DAY AFTER DAY AND THEY STILL STRUGGLE. If they would just give God a little space. If you seek him you shall find him in amazing ways. Hes not in a secret hiding place. Heres what I did on January 6th 2010. "I said God I ask you to come into my life I ask that I can no longer live a life of shame and brokenness. I need you and I want to use serve you in amazing ways. Please come into my life!" And all of a sudden I dropped to my knees crying and crying......Give God a chance

Get rid of the ego

I have been so freaken sick and tired of people complaining about how bad we got it. How there is so much unemployment and the world is coming to an end. Well 9/10 people are still at work. Compared to 70 percent unemployment in Costa Rica. I love to study government and politics because I could never be a public servant. I would be the only one to actually "serve the public" and not serve the political party or supporters. NEVER MIX GOD INTO A POLITICAL AGENDA. Instead focus on trying to above all else walk in the light of God by the way you serve in public office. We should be held to the highest standard.

It seems like week by week, God is testing my strength and perservernce in every outlets. I say something that I believe and do in for example in one of my convictions and then there is a test in a situation. I really think that for the most part God has given me an amazing will to get through some tough situations. He gives me the ability to say and do the right things. He gives the ability to be on top of things. I honestly still slack off here and there but I am on top of classes more than ever before right now.

I know this semester is about to get crazy but it is my last time to one serve God and do amazing things for him. Every step I walk every word that I say every conversation that I have I want to have for him. Not myself.

Wrong Motives

We all in corinthians the love chapter. We think about love many turn to this for loving their spouse kids or other worldly obession. But in general if we want to be follows and sell out for Christ, the "love chapter" tells us to do more. "Love all things believe in all things and endure all things. Those are powerful words love believe and endure. In fact this is probaley one of the most powerful chapters in all of the Bible.

I am not joking the more I dive into the word daily, the more God just becomes more consumed in my life. Instead of worry about what tommorow might bring, I am constantly worrying about how I can serve God. I am worried about how can I approach this person about Christ. Because in the bible we have all fallen short in the kingdom of God. But thank God for Christ.

Ever since I have been back from Costa Rica things are a lot different. I am thinking about going back again or even going to Africa next summer! From a jail cell one year, to Costa Rica, to Africa. Just give God a little room and he will do amazing things! I read article in time magazine about the upcoming midterm elections. If people put so much pride and passion into God rather than stupid politics, the world would be a different place. The world would be a lot better if we lived for God rather than political ideology. Oh yeh and everyone is panicing about unemployment. 9/10 people have a freaken job! Go to Costa Rica where there is 70 percent unemployment. Enough said

PEACE WITHIN HIM

It really frustrates me how much some people do not give God a chance. I mean God gave me a second chance to walk with him and he sure has done amazing things. I mean its kinda crazy to think that I could be called to "full time youth ministry" according to two people already deeply involved with youth ministry. It is amazing to be called to "full time missionary". Its just amazing to be blessed with so much a 20 page essay could not describe. It is so amazing to live a life day by day not worrying about the things of this world. Or stupid stuff like "man I hope I'm making x amount of money next year". This sort of stuff stressed the day lights out of me but it does no longer. What stresses me out is "how can I above all else walk in your light today". Or how can I bring this person to your presence.

Surrendering is not easy, because you have to give things up. You have to give up EVERYTHING. Lose control die to yourself. Theres still parts of me here and there that wanna go have fun and get crazy. There is still parts of me that wanna go back to the fun times. But I would rather walk for him knowing that in the end God is going to provide me with everything I need. A little piece of property or getaway to where I can go and live life in peace and prosperity. I could be a 2000 square foot house on the Southside, or even an apartment as a missionary in Costa. No matter where you go God is going to provide you with peace and prosperity. Even in a jail cell God provides peace and prosperity. Because well I am no longer in that dark cloud of my life no longer.

I AM GONNA LIVE MY LIFE ACCORDING TO GOD THROUGH HIS CONVICTIONS PLACED IN MY HEART AND LET NO ONE OR NOTHING IN THIS WORLD BRING THEM DOWN

stick to being relientless through love and compassion and you'll be ok

"A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need....Its poor judgment to gurantee another person's debt or put up security for a friend....Anyone who loves to quarrel loves sin....everyone who trusts in high wall invites diaster....The crooked heart will not propser; the lying tongue tumbles into trouble. -Proverbs 17: 17-20

Simplicity

After a week back from Costa Rica my life well is business. Also I find it really cool that a couple of new people have come into my life since getting back. Brothers friends etc. But class is getting super busy and I have not even started my internship yet. If I did not have Christ there is no way that I could possibly be doing all of the things I am doing. There is still a part of me that wants to drop everything and just go back. Go back to where I can dedicate all of my life effort sweat and tears into those people in Alajuelita. But I need to graduate and my mission field right now is this campus.

I am trying to find ways to bring brothers friends and classmates closer to God. Mass email social networking and big events such are not the way to go. Those might be appealing but its all about diving deep. Talking with them one on one about stuff that matters. I think its such a probelm these days with IPhones facebook technology. We sometimes only get to know most people at the surface. Some of my brothers who I have known for years only know a mere image of me. While my Costa Rica team members know the inside and out about me because of spending 4 days away from all the crap. I mean its nice to listen to some Phil Wickham or Jimmy Buffett while studying for a test, but sometimes its just God to have time with God without any of that.

Convictions

So I have to admit today it was tough. All day stuff with the fraternity and then work was just one of those days. I have been up since 7am with no sleep because of just well thinking too much. Trying to solve everything and not let God do his thing. Anyways things smoothed out. But now tonight theres a shin dig. I could go and get hammered but I really honestly am too mature in my walk to do that. I"ll stop by for like an hour then leave. I have my convictions to stick to. God through our walk puts little things in our heart we must stay dear to. One of those inovles drinking. The only time I drink is when its really private. I do not want everyone and their mother seeing a man of god who is on fire looking like a fool. How can I lead someone to Jesus when I am always partying it up. Its not bad to go out here and there but just only like once a month not even that.

Stick to your guns and convictions and God will do even more great things for you.

COSTA RICA

There are so many experiences pictures people events that I could take from Costa Rica. Spiritually though I left about or three things there that were getting in my way of God. There is a part of my heart that is been left there. I will go back sometime again. I did some things that God called me to do that I could never think of myself doing. Sharing a testimony to youth of a different culture/ generation, praying over a guy who was straight off the streets, praying over a homeless man, walking into some of the worst neighborhoods I will lay my eyes on, it goes on. But the boldness and relentless compassion that Christ put in my heart is showing so much back here. I have never been a fan of popularity or whatever, but I am a fighter. I am a fighter for friends family and brothers because I hate to see them struggle. To be a fighter and help bring lost people to the amazing truth of God, you have to battle in the trenches. You have to sometimes put yourself in bad situations. For example going out of your comfort zone to tell a friend he is messing up. To go to a rehab or jail to a random person that Christ loves you. Honestly God has made me that bold.

My flesh "dies" daily. All that matters is that the cross I wear around my neck, I try to follow it with all my heart. What I want to do on an ungiven day no longer exists. What God wants me to do see and serve matters. I can always remember reading Jeremiah 33:3 pretty much if I gave God a little chance he would do amazing things and turn my life around. I gave him one chance and he has done so much to last me a lifetime. Even though there are still parts of me that God is still working on (outward image) he still can use us to do amazing things for his kingdom.

1 DAY AWAY

This time tommorow I will be on my way to Orlando to fly out to Costa Rica. In only a matter of months I have been transformed by unstoppable love unstoppable compassion and unstoppable genoursity. I sometimes during worship at SUB30 or church on Sundays cry in tears of joy. Because I am nothing without him. I am nothing without the holy spirit inside me. I am still a broken vessel. But thank you for a God who uses broken people to spread the love of the gospel.

Almost a year ago I sat in a jail cell thinking......what in the heck are you on this world for. I find it really awesome that on the one year later exactly I will be on the mission field. I do not know what to expect, but I have a feeling something is going to change. I do not know. I am going with an open mind and an open heart.

I sat in my fraternity chapter tonight just thinking. Thinking about what God has done in my life. My mom and grandmother came to Celebration for the time ever this morning and I ended up crying. Just because of how awesome God really is. You see I am nothing. I dress "fratastic" to be confident. I still worry. Heck theres been an occassion or two where I drinked too much in the past year. And school wise I still slack off.

But the one thing that is domiant is Christ. Christ turned anything upside down. In 8th months Christ took me from nothing to something. From a man who spent a night in jail, battled with alcohol, and excuses for everything.

R.U.S.H

I was literally on campus from 7am to 10pm and I had no classes today. I was out for two reasons Jesus Christ and my brothers. This past summer I have been on fire. I have been on radiant transformation that is unstoppable. I no longer fear what tommorow might bring. I no longer fear the stupid crap or temptation of this world. A simple mind set with a simple servant's heart can do wonders in such a fast paced world. I am really bad with names. I probaley caught up with every person brother friend prospect mentor in the entire world. But it is nice because a lot of them can see progression. But what some do not understand it is not about me. It is about the power of Jesus Christ. The power of Jesus Christ has turned my life upside down.


I found out that I will be DUNKED aka baptized in Costa Rica. I have no idea what God is doing to do. But there is one thing for 5 straight days the things of this will break and all folks will see is God and the holy spirit. I am not going to CONVICT people I am going to show them UNSTOPPABLE LOVE. My goal this semester in the rush of things is to be continously showing unstoppable love unstoppable compassion unstoppable genorousity for a God who is unstoppable in his love for me. Bring on man seriously.

selfishness

as followers of Jesus Christ one of the things we are always focusing on its ourself. In God's presence we are always trying to improve ourselves as followers of Jesus Christ. But what we need to focus on sometimes more like most of the time is how we are going to use are God given gifts to lead followers. Because when I reach that gate, I want to have a band of brothers by my side of men especially I lead to Christ. I have an amazing opporunity to do this. And that is through my fraternity. I was at a meeting this past Sunday and learned that 81 percent of people who are saved are lead by friends/family. My goal this semester......lead brothers to Christ through any ways and share the great news of the gosepl with them.

3 weeks to go

I really think that the enemy is trying to pull every string in the book from getting me away from going to Costa Rica. He running around like an idiot because a team of men and women are about to go and do great things for God. I guess this dude took a huge swing at me last night. I know we all make stupid decisions, but this one came out of nowhere. Not only did I make a fool of myself but I let one of my brothers down. I let one of my brothers down who is doing great things for Jesus. The last thing he needs is for another man of God to make a fool of himself.

To put the icing on the cake I woke up from a dream this morning that brought me back to my past. Let me tell you this THERE IS NOTHING NOT A THING IN THIS WORLD THAT IS GOING TO HOLD ME BACK. IF I CRY EVERYDAY FOR GOD'S LOVE AND MERCY THEN I SHALL. Lets face it I do not cry much. But I have cried 4 times in the past 7 days. Its God working within me. Its God strengthening me. It is God working in my heart.

I am worried about something that is 10 months down the road. This world sucks and the enemy is using the news to try and make me feel less confident about the future. But Iknow for a fact if I do great things for God in the upcoming months, things will work out.

The fraternity

When people think of greek life it is often illustrated by drinking and girl chasing. However since being in the the Xi Psi chapter of the Kappa Sigma Fraternity, it has brought me so much: three best men at my wedding, men of God to exemplify/mentor with, experiences I will never forget(AT, camping, golf, semi/formals), a band of brothers to always turn to, leadership skills, confidence, professional attitude. Lets face it God wanted me to be apart of something great while in college and I have. The reason I am writing this is because some of my fellow brothers have grown apathetic because of things not going their way. I have always and will continue to be a team player. Even when something is done and I do not agree with it I will stick to the team vision/purpose. And that is our star and crescent. As long as we are living/acting within the purpose/vision of the organization I will continue to do great things because it has given me so much.

I turn to Jesus for perseverance. He is the starter and finisher of our faith. His vision was handed down to him by God and through his perfect heart and spirit he kept pushing. He just did not all of a sudden stop and give up preaching the word, performing miracles, he kept going. He kept going even when death was near his footsteps. Could you imagine God calling you to be crucified and having to die a horrific death? Well my friend you do not have to worry because he sent his only Son so we could be uplifted and saved.

So everything everything that I do in life I will do with the 110 percent effort until it is done. No mater how many times people might blow me off, no matter how many times people might talk crap, no matter how many times we lose at something I will finish the job. Diligence and commitment create a new man within us. Especially walking in the light of our savior. If we turn to God through prayer he will make us great finishers. Finishers who are team players, and who do not complain and just do. Do great things within an organization job or even family.

My testimony powerful in ways that only Jesus Christ knows

A year ago to this day on the outside it looked like I had everything together. I walked and talked like it. I was that "genuine fraternity guy that was the life of the ocassion". I believed in a god and Jesus Christ but I used every excuse in the book to not go to church. I was too busy or that church was only out for getting money out of me. But some things I had loads of time for were sorority girls, whisky, a short temper, and a mouth like a sailor. The man I saw in the mirror was not the man Jesus visioned me to be.

Then on September 5th I spent the night in a 6x8 box. This box brought me to an all time low. This box made me feel lonely and defeated. In the box I saw demons and the enemy playing his antics. But once I was out of the box I experinced a "god of second chances."

I spent the last couple of months searching for who I really was. But it was still all about what I wanted. Part of me still wanted to be the man on campus. And the funny part is that I was inactive from the fraternity due to crappy decisions and grades. Finally on January 6th I made the decision to no longer grip onto the things of this of this world. My roomate brothers and other friends throughout UNF lead me to a beaming radiant light you could see miles away. A radiant light that is lead by men and women from all races and backrounds. A radiant light that puts Jesus Christ first through love community and compassion.

A 21 day fast finally awakend my heart and mind to the awesome moving power of Jesus Christ. Like John the Baptist blessed Jesus, I was not baptized with water or oil but rather a fire of the holy spirit radiating in my heart. Ultimately when a man comes to grip with what is inside his heart and mind the wants of the flesh begin to weaken.. I am talking about a constant fire that keeps me going day to day week to week. A fire that has given me the ability to lead close friends and brothers to Jesus. And even my mother God revealed change in her life.

I believe in a God of 2nd chances

My flesh grows tired. My body grows weak and tired. Sometimes when not taken care of it grows so weak you might have a close heat stroke while playing golf in driple digit heat. But a spirit that is constantly renewed in the word of God, can conquer anything. A spirit that is constantly reminded of Jesus Christ, our spirit can conquer our flesh's weaknesses. Mind over matter. I truely believe that if God wants something to happen he will break all barriers through our spirit if we constantly renew it. Does that mean I can go bench 275? Negative. What glory is that going to do for God's kingdom? But can I go to Costa Rica? Can I be transformed into a man who leads middle/high school youth and his own fraternity brothers to Jesus Christ? Can I be transformed into a servant who gives unstoppable love and compassion? Can I be transformed into a pelicular man? Can I even with no voice still scream my lung out in worship almost 15 songs in one night? I can because of one God. Thank you so much

This One Goes Deep

I cannot believe that almost a year ago I was literally in a box. Physically and mentally I was in perhaps the darkest point of my life. I was consumed in the things of this world. But from the outside I had it together. Inside there was nothing. I talked walked dressed and acted like I had it together. How could a guy with amazing brothers, family, and many talents be so broken? I had gotten so far away from my foundation. My foundation as strong as a rock had now become little as a nickel or dime in my heart. I think maybe sitting in a 6x8 box if you want to call it that can bring out the worst demons in anyone. I felt low hopeless and lost.

But now 8 months later that foundation Jesus Christ is moving and radiant in my heart. The holy spirit moves almost every 10 minutes. Its that "little voice speaking to me inside." I know that's God. I know when I bring everything.....I mean everything to Jesus Christ he makes things better. Sure there are still parts of me I need to fix, but Jesus Christ has fixed a lot of things about me. I no longer sway from party to party and get the utmost enjoyment. I no longer go off the deep end over the stupidest things. I no longer make school a 2nd or 3rd priority next to girls and drinking. The walk I am on right now thank you Jesus for rescuing me. Thank you Jesus for turning my life upside down and making things better. Thank you Jesus for giving me the strength and confidence to no longer bind on to the things of this world. Thank you Jesus for giving me the courage to go overseas with people I have never met before to Costa Rica and do everything in your name. This fall I am going to take more leaps and meet more people. The next year will set the stage for the next big chapter in my life. I am just so glad to be on "the right path".

Messed Up

Just because I serve God and go to church does not mean I am perfect. I still sometimes have days where there are hours where I lose hope. There are still sometimes I do not pray enough. There are still times where I go to places I should not go. But the great thing about Jesus Christ is when you begin to serve him he will still you no matter how messed up you are to serve him. For example could you imagine people who serve the president for example his advisors and staff? They have "perfect resumes" with graduating from schools like Yale Harvard etc. They look and act perfect because they have to. But the king of kings I serve will even use people from all walks of life. For example when I was pulling out of Celebration I saw this family all rocking out Ralph Lauren and driving a Lexus. And then another family driving what looked like to be an older model car. There is no other man in this world who treats his sons and daughters in this way.

The future still crosses my mind but it does not stress me out. Instead I just think of what amazing blessing God has brought into my life. Sometimes the enemy likes to elevate failures and descend victories. This is coming from someone who always has a positive outlook on life. This is coming from someone who highlights a person's strengths rather than weaknesses. But through prayer and retweaking your thinking through the holy spirit, ratinale and thinking change. I know I sound like a psychologist but its kind of what Ive done inside my head.

My 102 year old great grandmother is moving to Jacksonville. She is like Mother Teresa. A life long lady of God who is really old school. I mean she can get around with a cane and walk around like she owns the place. I cannot wait

Quit Waivering and Worrying and Just Stick to the Big Picture Man

For almost 23 years I have worried about some of the most random things ever in my life. For example when I get married is my family going to be big enough? Or where am I going to live after I graduate. I mean come on man you are so much better than that. It seems like the best of my comes out by serving God. When I am surrounded by family, brothers, and at FUSE things go great. I know at work I can serve God by being an inspiring pelicular person of Jesus Christ. That means not waivering between my old and new life. The term born again I really do not like but rather I call it a "second chance". I second chance at a new walk in life. A second chance to glorify the King of Kings. A second chance to do amazing things through him. A second chance for the creator to take you overseas for the first time in 23 years on a mission trip? What the heck?

Wednesday night FUSE one of my students was having a rough time. He is this really energetic out there guy who is doing great things. However he suffers through a sleeping disorder and he tried inviting his friend to church that night. It was not the first time he invited her but she did not show up. I have the greatest fear in inviting some of my closet friends to church and her a 9th grader can do it? After praying over him during worship he came and gave me a hug. I had this weird feeling in my gut that almost brought tears to my eyes. After groups and before SUB30 I had to spend 5 minutes just to recollect myself. These kids are amazing. Some of the stuff they go through and they still do great things for Jesus Christ. They show unstoppable mercy even when times are tough. In a nutshell I have been inspired.

On a plane back home from Massachuetts I caught myself reading one of those "Skymall Magazines". The next minut I found myself next to this guy and his crying baby. For the next 2 hours I found myself asking why me? But I know why God does these things. Thankfully I had my IPhone and for those next two hours I just prayed. He help me lay out a vision for this next coming semester. I am going to be really busy serving him lets just say that. And by the way the guy kept looking at my notebook and bible so hopefully maybe that was a form of witnessing to him?

For the past couple of days I have just been trying to show unstoppable mercy above sacrifice in all aspects of my life. Many people think walking with Jesus Christ is surrendering things to him. For example giving up drinking, sex, and drugs is the most important thing so we can be "holy". But the next minute they go and talk crap about people who used to do that with him. Let me ask you something. The Jesus Christ who rescued you from all of those bad addictions did that so you could just persecute them? I do not think so. As Christ followers, as a church, we need to spend more time loving and showing unstoppable compassion, and less time making stupid excuses to spread the amazing word of God. Because unlike people back in the day we have ALL OF THESE AMAZING RESOURCES (facebook twitter youtube email iphones). Some people back in the day would wait AN ENTIRE LIFETIME TO GO ON AN OVERSEAS MISSION TRIP BECAUSE IT COSTS SO MUCH AND YOU EITHER HAD TO RIDE ON A STEAMBOAT OR FLY ON ONE OF THOSE PROP PLANES.

I will no longer see my friends suffer, I will no longer sit back and see them break because of the things of this world

I really do not understand somethings. I really do not understand how much I pray, no matter how much I bring it to the cross, no matter how much I try not to think about it, it does not go away. Honestly this is something that has plauged my mind for weeks......maybe months. This is someone who has overcome so much through Christ. But this area or gray area that sometimes is so confusing it brings me down. I need to pray for God for more clarity. I know that some people might find it stupid and worthless to go off the deep end over but I dont. But I know on God's time maybe months or years everything will make since.

Phil Wickham concert at Sub30 hands down was one of the most amazing times I have felt the presence of the true almighty. I really love my church FUSE/SUB30 and all of the amazing people there. But I have said this like a thousand times I hear from God when I am alone in his word. I have been really good about going to church but diving into the word and praying thats been a different story the past week. And my strength in God has been weak at some points throughout the week. So at work today I spent 3 hours praying. 3 hours of praying about some things and issues that I needed to get straight with God. Let me tell you man the enemy is so sneaky. I mean the enemy sometimes knows a bit too much. He knows that spending time alone with God is like the bread and butter of my life. But thank you for a God that is soo powerful that gives me the willingness to pray for 3 straight hours. I have never wrote more down on paper in my entire life. But now I have trust and will rejoice God will do amazing things.

why is it that i take one half day to myself.....watch tv and eat lots of junk food the enemy brings me down.. I really do not know why but sometimes I can not go two weeks only averaging 5 hours of sleep.

strength

Many people measure strength in physical term. For example a guy who benches 168 has more strength than someone who might bench 110. Often God measures strength within us by how much the holy spirit is filled in us and how often act upon it. When you give your life to Jesus Christ the holy spirit is within you. The more you listen to it and act upon it, the spirit influences your physical and mental actions more. The things of this world with time lose their grasp on you also. Strength in Jesus Christ starts with trust and confidence. Knowing that good or bad, God is going to do great things for you because he loves you.

Strength in God is constantly growing day by day week by week. Because he has got me through some really tough times. Just in the daily grind his word, music, and spirit are an amazing cure to the crap the enemy likes to try and throw at you.

January 6th 2010-Forever

When you look at dates with dash marks, they represent a begining and end. For example tombstones mark the start and end of someone's time on earth. Another might illustrate the start and end to a war. But there is one thing perhaps the only that has no end. And that is a walk with Jesus Christ

I sat down and read some of my journal entries from the first couple of prayers. They sure did show a lack of knowledge and uncertainity. Not uncertainity on what Jesus was doing but some anxiety on the things of this world. I looked myself in the mirror today 6th months later after some victories and struggles and I am shocked. The list is endless and the thought of ever going back is not going to happen. I am finally the man I have destined to be. I can see real strong progression. Thanks to living for one man Jesus Christ. I have a passion for history so I always remember dates. I will always remember the 6th on every occassion.

There are going to be new hills, new mountains, and new challenges but I will never give up on God. I am not the greatest of runners or the greatest golfer but I always practice. And in my walk with Christ I have perservernce, I can knocked back down but HE will get me up. Time and time again he has been there. And the cool thing is my friend.....THIS IS ONLY A SMALL VAPOR OR TIME PERIOD OF WHAT CHRIST CAN DO NOT IN MY LIFE BUT IN ANYONE'S LIFE.

if i have the unstoppable courage to do all of these things with Christ in me......then i pray that i have unstoppable courage to save those who do not know the amazing love and grace of jesus christ. so powerful it makes a 22 year old man sometimes cry over what the things of this world do and how broken they become.

UPLIFTED ONCE AGAIN

The past week I did a 7 day social fast to refocus on getting raw with God. Whenever you grip onto the things of this world, it gets you away from God. Especially with being in a social fraternity. Theres nothing wrong with it but I can not get through a day with out praying. The holy spirit is so constantly moving in my heart I sometimes need guidance. The bible is the first thing I turn to.

In 1 Kings 17 it depicts the story of Elijah. He was one of those pelicular type of people. In the bible he has to be one of my favorite guys because he goes against all of the Baal Gods and an entire political/social norm. In fact he proves them wrong by having God pretty much set fire to an altar. The people who worshipped the false God of baal were so stunned they began dancing and cutting themselves. This kinda creepy honestly.

What we can take from this is some of us need to stop waivering between the false Gods and the real God in our life. Since recommitting my life to Christ I have been guilty. This fast of pretty much being a loner accept with Jesus Christ has strengthend me. 6 months ago if you would of told me I was fasting, going to Costa Rica, leading a small group of 8th graders, leading friends/brothers to Christ, and no longer fearing the things of this world, I would of thought you were crazy. Thank you for the God of second chances. Thank you for Jesus Christ filling my heart with the upmost joy. Everytime I worship I almost cry because of the feeling I have inside me. And it continues to grow day by day. There is going to be bumps twists and turns thats life. But God uses those as a stepping stone for the next big thing in his big picture with your life.

7 DAY SOCIAL FAST

no fraternity events, no hanging out with friends, no other sort of social activities, just work church school the gym, and some much needed personal time with God, in already the first two days he has help me FINALLY get rid of some things holding me down, offer me a new perspective, and bless me in many ways possible, it is so important no matter what we do never let the things of this world grip us, rather instead Jesus Christ

Tunnel vision

Theres a difference between living for Christ and walking with Christ. For example when you do something wrong the holy spirit is so warm inside you, be burns you with a conviction. Sometimes so strong it is like chucking the bird at the cross? Sorry it sounds blunt but I have honestly become so bold and so transformed by Christ, that when I feel that way then I know its wrong. However just because I am walking with Christ, my flesh still hungers and wants the things of this world. And still the past sometimes gets me here and there. Especially with people or things that have burned me in the past. That justs life. But thank you for a God who sent you his only son. Thank you for a God who can truely bless you with the ability to be an amazing influence and leader. I think that outweighs some little baggage or burdens of this world. Above all else him sending his only son to die on the cross, and rise from the dead from 3 days of hell defintley outweighs it. I mean could you imagine what kind of things Jesus went through while down there? And he didnt do it for himself.....HE DID IT FOR YOU MAN.

I have finally figured out the solution to something minor that has gotten in the way with my walk with Christ. I think the enemy has tried every trick in his book to bring me down. But thank God for friends and brothers who offer you insight and knowledge on what it means to not only live for Christ, but to walk by his side. When we choose to walk with Christ, we sometimes take a road with many twists and turns. For example imagine going down a highway or interstate compared to taking backgrounds. The interstate or highway is better because you get there faster and there is less trials and tribulations. However if you take the back roads, you might get caught up in something and it will take you longer to get to that destination. Ultimately the final destination has been Jesus Christ.

Since now I have finally realized that this annoying baggage or whatever you want to call it will no longer be able to keep up with me. I have thanks to the holy spirit and repentance gotten back on the highway and going full force. Like I said one minute your on the highway full force, the next minute little side step after little side step, the enemy has you taking these stupid backgrounds trying to slow you down. Perseverance my friend is ultimately what God has been trying to teach me this past week.

The enemy has tried to steal the victories of the Lord. These antics and games do not work. Thank you for a God who sent his only son to save and lead me in the right direction. Better than any Garmin GPS or IPhone map. And above all else thank you for friends and brothers who have shown me how to get back on the right road.

A man who was whipped, spit at, nailed to a cross, tormented by the same people who shouted Hosanna in the highest

I am in shock and awe of what Jesus Christ did in my heart last night. Even after 5 months I got saved, I still struggled with this one burden or "tick" that kind of held me down. Well sometimes it was like a mosquito and then at other times it was like a heavy burden weighing me down. Enough was enough. With all of my heart and emotion last night I brought it to the cross. And finally Jesus Christ took it away. You have to realize that Jesus Christ in the flesh experinced more emotional and physical so that OUR scars and burdens could be healed in his awesome spirit. A man who was whipped, spit at, nailed to a cross, tormented by the same people who shouted Hosanna in the highest, do you think there is some emotional struggle there? Jesus Christ is not some holy or godly figure. He is in flesh our personal savior. This perhaps has been the biggest victory since I have recommitted my life to Christ. Because you need to realize what I was going through followed me and messed with my mind for so long. A burden that followed me for....almost all of my time in college is now gone erased. I will no longer again struggle. Instead I am rejoice with the amazing spirit and grace that Jesus Christ showed me. It has allowed me to become more radiant and bold in my walk with Christ.

After working a double.....hanging out with the family.....doing laundry.......sending out emails......and working out it gets me sometimes that the enemy likes to mess with my thoughts and experessions. I guess maybe that is where I am the most vunerable. But thank God I have the best weapon to overcome that fear or crazy thought. My mind sometimes goes places that I wonder how it gets there. I am a thinker lets just say that. But these past couple of weeks I need to pray more, I need to dive into the word more. Because when I do that it leaves me with an ultimate feeling of comfort and grace. It is the only place where I can get raw with God and we can have some uno y uno time. Where all of my probelms concerns and victories we can talk about them.

I am less than three months away from Costa Rica. I cannot wait and this will be the first of many trips. Wherever Jesus Christ wants to go me "as you wish Lord I'll be there".

no burden baggage or yoke will ever hold me down. for i am so steadfast in the Lord he is taking me to new places.....new ends of world Nigeria Egypt 2011.....new people....new experinces.....and my friend this is only the begining of my walk with Christ......I will walk with him until I hopefully that one day reach the gates of heaven.......but for now I need to do everything in my power to share the amazing grace and love of Jesus Christ....who above all else will see you free....will you join me so that when we enter the enter the gates of heaven.....we will go in together?


i will no longer see my friends and co workers struggle....for my iron has been sharpen and keeps getting sharper.....it is time for me to become more bold in my words actions and how i conduct myself as a man of God and a worshipper as a Jesus Christ......not as a worshipper or a idolizer but rather have the mind set of a simple servant

The enemy has seriously gone and tried to mess with my mind today. Hes trying to take me on a journey back to a place I once was in my life. A time in my life that I was completely broken and had no purpose. All I gotta say is sorry bud I dont fold like I youst to. I dont lose my patience like I yousto to. You see because I have Jesus Christ by my side now, I have the holy spirit filled within me, and a new confidence that makes me bold and defiant to over come anything with selfless faith.

IT IS REALLY SWEET NO MATTER HOW MY DAY GOES....NO MATTER WHERE I AM AT.....GOD IS ALWAYS THERE.....IS SPIRIT IS FIRE IN MY HEART.....AND I WILL CONTINUE TO SERVE HIM UNTIL....HE SHALL REIGN FOREVER

There is just something about candlelight that amazes me. I know it sounds kind of random but the burning of a candle represents something consistent. Honestly to me the fire that consumes an individual for Christ can be an illustration for a candle. No matter where I pray or where I go to pray, I always have candles by my side. Because it helps me focus on my fire with God. Most importantly as you seek him that fire keeps getting greater. No longer to the joys of a life of hypocrisy consume my life. Instead when I seek to walk in the light of Jesus Christ, that is when I feel most satsified.


Ok so this might be stepping on a limb but recently I have been asked a ton of questions about "dating". To Christians that word has a whole multitude of meanings. I honestly have been on a date been well ages because I have focused on my walk with Christ. But now it is bold and radiant and the ultimate driving force in all aspects of life including "dating". So how the heck do you do that? Well above all else a great first date would be go to go church together and maybe lunch after that. It is so important to have a similar walk with Christ. This is something I have prayed about a lot because I really in the past have never put Christ first in my dating life. Soo lets see what happens

This is a great read

"These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- through your faith is far more precious than m

In our walk with Christ we all sometimes go through some sort of struggle. We experience some sort of pain due to lack of self confidence status and what people say and do to us. But honestly just recently I realized what those curve balls in life what their true meaning is. Above all else we worship God and give thanks to him when times are good? But what about those times when we go for days or even walks of constant failure or uncertainty or even lack of self confidence. For the past couple of days I personally have gone through this. The summer has been great but I like to stay busy on whats ahead. I like to keep myself occupied.

Anyways how we deal with pain or uncertainty in our personal lives is a sign of two things. One it is a sign of our strength in the love of Jesus Christ. Second it is used as a testimony to the amazing power that his love and compassion has. The same sinless man who died on the cross is with his followers through thick and thin. As we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we fear nothing. He is relentless in his power of grace and righteousness. How do I know that? It is through the holy spirit and the past couple of days even though there has been no FUSE or SUB30, he is still there. When it is all quiet, when I am surrounded by nothing but him, in candlelight, he is there.

As Christians in our walk if we stay steadfast cheerful and optimistic that Christ will get us through our day or week of struggle, he will bless us in many ways you could not think of. Through that pain and struggle he will transform you. There has to be a test to be a testimony to inspire others. And remember any story, any testimony, plays a small but significant role in the kingdom of God. From a story that inspires a co worker, to a pastor testimony that inspires an entire church.

Fear

I guess maybe sometimes fear of the past can bring a person down. I know for a fact fear that devleops in our personal lives is a result of someone or something what what they say or do in our lives. We often get caught up in the world of fear and it can prevent us from achieving God's purpose. An almighty God that took time to make us with his hands and provide us with a purpose, did not create fear within is. The hardest thing we can over come is to break that fear. Instead of worrying what others say and think, spending time on what God thinks about our actions through prayer is a better plan.

I sometimes think of my past mistakes. Especially the ones that have been really costly to me. Often it is a tool of the enemy, and he likes to play his games. But I keep reminidng myself and praying that Jesus Christ and having faith in him, he helps guide me through fear of the future and of what people say and do in my personal life. Through his teachings I know how to not only handle it but break fear. I used to get caught up for such a long time on personal mistakes. But now since I am living in his purpose, I do not have time to sit back and be all pessimistic. Everyday I am conquering the unknown. I am conquering the fear of perception and image in this world. And this is making me into a bold man of God.........Peace

23But he continued, “You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. I told you that you would die in your sins;

It took me to go to my grandfather's cemetary today for me to get some quiet time. I honestly have not been there in years but in a place where often sadness is experinced, I felt the joy of the holy spirit in my life. Sitting on that bench near my grandfather's grave made me realize that often the enemy makes us slaves. Slaves of sin and brokeness if we are not careful. Luckily I have not been broken in the past couple of months but he keeps trying to break me. Well I will not give in. You see what many do not realize is that my heart is been filled with the holy spirit and sometimes we often act with our mind and not our heart. When we do things for us and not for Jesus Christ our mind takes in control. But when you have Christ, that captivity fades away.

The long walk

This week or maybe since 10 days has seen like a long walk. I honestly have been stranded with some situations that have been bugging the daylights out of me. For those folks who notice I have not wrote in my blog much. Instead I have focused on relaxing in the form of hanging out with friends that I haven't seen in awhile. But when you do that every night, it sometimes brings a wear on you. I honestly have not had any personal time to myself when this week should of been focused on that. In my walk with Christ, I have neglected. My fire is there but not as radiant as it should be.

Driving home from the gym yesterday afternoon I saw a white dove off fly past my windshead. The weird part me and my roomate saw it as a sign of the holy spirit. It was something that I have never seen before in my life. I honestly haven't prayed about its meaning but I believe God is trying to show me the amazing grace. We sometimes get side tracked but hopefully being side tracked will make you grow stronger. It has. I just pray that this summer above all else I can grow more in him. I hope and pray that I can find the ambition I had earlier this year. Jesus is waiting for me to go "all in" for him.

I have seen so much change in one semester of college. I know people come and go but for some odd reason things people and lord Tim Teebow in Dever what has this word come to? And I listen to folks music that has banjos and fiddles in it (The Avett Brothers)....wow. As I sit here writing this I am just kind of amazed by how much God's presecene just fills up my life as I grow closer to him. Honestly being a year away from graduation is scary. But I know for a fact since I have called to HIM, he is going to show me the great and mighty things for which I do not know (jeremiah 33:3). Everytime I seek something about him I find it, everytime I am down he gets my up. My heart continues to be rendered because Jesus Christ has filled me with the holy spirit. I get the upmost joy when I serve him, I get the upmost joy on Wednesday and Sunday nights. There is nothing in this world that can make me complete. And for those who are blown away by the Lord shaping and changing my life.....this is only the begining....I can never go back to the life I once lived. I can no longer be a man with no purpose and vision. I can no longer ignore a love that is so fulfilling and everlasting.

Rest assured with a heart thats pure we'll be victorious and not let our hate get the best of us

Anger is something that we all struggle through on a constant basis. But how we deal with aggression or anger towards someone or something is a sign of a true defiant person who walks with Christ. You see Christ was so perfect that he throughout his entire life, did not show one sign of anger or aggression towards anyone that he can into contact with. From Judas to the Pharisees Jesus Christ show love and compassion, and then died the most horrific death for the forgiveness of our sins. In the old and new testament the bible warns us do not get angry or blame God for the things that happen on Earth. But why sometimes does God let these things happen? Why does God let someone get so angry that he ends up going on a killing rampage? Its hard to answer this but instead again God is fair, because he gave is only begotten son for the forgiveness or your sins! He created you out of his image to walk on this earth with a purpose and vision in life! He blessed you with amazing gives and talents to achieve that purpose! When above all else you are broken he sends your son through the holy spirit to rescue you and provide you with grace love and compassion! And when you are truly walking besides his son he will send you to place and let you do amazing things you were never capable of! Like for example working in a coffee shop in Cairo Egypt ministering and witnessing to Muslims and non believers who do not know the awesome works of God. So above all else be thankful that he is so awesome and merciful. Right now lately I have been so thankful for my brothers, Celebration, SUB30, Hillsong, and above all else my personal time with Jesus Christ through the holy spirit.

Some wonder how to deal with anger? Counting and anger management are not the answers even though a great movie was made about it with Adam Sandler. Inside its best to pin point the source of it. For me mostly it comes out of jealously. Especially in the past couple of weeks. Man in my fraternity it sometimes is like a running race with us being so driven and non content of the present status quo. From leadership positions, to GPA, to numbers, I feel like sometimes I work for a fortune 500 company. But all of that can not make a person complete. Above all else what makes me complete is Jesus. What makes me who I am the bread and butter is Jesus. And honestly I am so thankful for having that because I see my brothers friends and parents struggle who have that. I just wish they knew how amazing and awesome a walk with Christ is. Lord help them use me through my actions through my words through my attitude

This time it's in your hands...I will follow you forever...Now I'm taking back my life...Taking back my family....I'm a warrior of life.

Luckily I was able to get out of work early to make to SUB30 tonight. For the past two weeks I haven't been able to make it to FUSE and participate in our 8th grade small groups after worship and the message. While at SUB30 I learned that one of the students took his life away. While standing there in shock and awe I stumbled to keep my composure. I have never met this guy but why did this happen? Why did this happen to someone who walked into God's house? And it is not fair that this would happen to a teenager who has his whole life ahead of him. But soon I realize that 37 kids gave their life to Christ because of his death. I then questioned myself would I give up my own life so that a brother, family member, or even person I've only met once or twice could have a relationship with Jesus? Well tonight I made that commitment.

I wondered to myself could I have done more as a leader to prevent this? I know I have been to one meeting but that night moved me to do everything I can to reveal the amazing love of Jesus Christ in their life. These kids are so consumed in a high or happiness that is degrading and bad (drugs alcohol etc). But for those who struggle I hope that I can show them once they receive Jesus, all of those things will no longer make them happy or give them that high. Instead through the holy spirit as their hearts are softened they will get the best high or satisfaction in serving God. Im 22 and going on my first overseas mission trip this September, but there are some kids who are 15 who are doing the same thing as me. Have I been sleeping under a rock all these times or what.

Life can be tough and hard above all else. The good people who fight the good fight of faith most of the time are in the back. But even when many circumstances I hope that his glory and reign will appear in the darkest times. Thank the lord for what you have especially those who have a relationship with Jesus. And my friend "tell someone about it, or do something with it". Stop sitting in church and then going out to the world and not sharing the gospel to those who need a breathe of fresh air.

I know writing some of this might bring people to tears but honestly it is hard for me to not be real with people. Sometimes being blunt and real does wonders.

He has honestly made it pour with everlasting righteous and compassion

It is surely amazing what gone has done in my life in the past semester. Not only in my life but in my family friends and fraternity's life as well. I know that I sometimes write the same ole stuff over and over but it is truely a work of Jesus Christ. There is no turning back I am so glad to be apart of the good shepard. The shepard who brings righteous and purity to his flock. I just wish sometimes people would wake up and reconize what is going on. I know some in fact lots had noticed. I really like it when they ask me questions. I really like it they ask me Eric why are you so driven? What makes you on fire 24/7? What makes you offer a helping hand to those who come into contact in your life? It challenges me.

Today driving to work I felt a gust of fresh air come into my truck and no it was not the AC. Many of the past burdens and yokes that have dragged me down for so long are broken thanks to repetence and Jesus Christ. But there is this one thing that keeps coming back. No matter how much I pray try to forget about it or put it aside it is sort of like an annoying bug or something. Its not brining me down but it sure does have me asking a lot of questions. It makes me constantly pray about it. Before then I thought it was the enemy, but even when I meditate or pray it still comes back. Im really interested to see how it plays out. I think of it as one of those golf clubs in your bag hat sometimes hits a really good shot or a bad one. For example like my Nike 5 wood. I love it to somtimes, but other times I just want to chuck it in a lake or something. But I know on his time he will provide me with a final definitive answer.

Never before through the past couple of days have I realized that I have a new thrist for the kingdom of God. Before I can always remember I used to get the upmost joy or high in life in things that were not true. But now like never before the more I dive deeper into the word, the more I learn about mission opporunities, the more band of christain brothers I meet, it makes me seek him more. My heart has been rendered through the holy spirit to fulfill a new and everlasting purpose. Honestly it has taken me a couple of months to kind of sort of adjust my life. But what you see is that temporary forms of gratification through the flesh eventually wear down when your heart is rendered or softened. But to first be filled with joy and compassion you have to surrender and live for Jesus Christ. Because he is the only way, to inherit and share the kingdom of God. And for those who doubt his amazing power, he conquered the grave, the only man in human history to ever do such a thing. So I am sure whatever addiction temptation or pain you are suffering with, give it to him, and have trust and faith in Jesus Christ. Because almost 3 months ago to this day he rocked my world. I thought i had it all figured out but its amazing how God can reveal things to you.

A spirit and glory that is everlasting.....if you seek him

Things have started to pick up lately in the past couple days with the semester coming to an end. I had the most amazing Easter ever. Even though I worked I spent the day reflecting on the past present and future. The past on what walking with Jesus has done with my life in the past couple of months. I have met some amazing people and experienced some great things I would of never known if I didn't surrender my life to him. Some of those moments have been.....

1. Learning about the 2.4 billion folks who have never heard the Gospel then being just bombarded with amazing mission opportunities. Egypt or Nigeria here I come 2011
2. Participating in a middle/high school small group following a youth service.....i had never been so moved or impacted by what these kids struggle with. I pray for them everyday that they will walk with Jesus. I know I had to be brought to me low to finally surrender it all, I hope these kids don't have to go to through the same battle I went through. It is honestly not worth it

I cannot tell you what will happen tomorrow or who I will meet, but I am so thankful for what I have now. At dinner with my family Sunday I realized that God has blessed me with the best mom dad grandmother aunts and uncles I could ask for. There is one gentleman who I have always admired.I honestly wish he was still here.I know that he is in heaven telling me "Eric keep up the good work but there is still much to be done." He is my grandfather Adolf Hartschlag. From what I remember and learned about him he was one of those "true gentleman who above all else walked in the light of God".

Tonight I got a first hand taste of how corrupt this world is. I particpated in a 8th grade student bible study after the FUSE youth service right before SUB30. I am complete shock and awe what some of these kids go through in their lives. From the corrupt households, to having relatives in prison, to having a friend die in a DUI accident at the age of 16. When I heard some of the probelms that some of these guys go through, it almost brought me to tears. I had to take a deep breathe from almost losing it.

But when they lost focused I shared a bit of my testimony and all of their eyes were glued on me. I just pray tonight that they find Christ and establish a great relationship with him. These kids really need spiritual young adult leaders to guide them. I have only been saved for 3 months and I would of never thought of myself witnessing to young middle/high schools. I wish I could meet with them everyday so that they know someone and a whole group of people are praying for them to find Christ. I have never met a group of guys and girls so passionate. I know I cant inspire everyone but man if I can "save one then I can save an entire nation". That nation for these kids is a social group, sports team, a household, or heck even a whole grade level at their school.

Tonight was eye opening all power, and most importantly made me realize that there is people out there with far greater problems than we could ever imagine. So stop complaining and worrying about what people think, and instead worry about those who need a true love that is everlasting....That my friend is Jesus Christ

Rejoice and spread all of the good news of Jesus to all nations

I have never been challenged or pushed in my entire life like I have tonight. In my walk with Christ he has been building and transforming me to be a disciple as I go throughout life. And so far I have not taken one class or course on discipleship. In my daily interaction with brothers co workers family and friends I have seen amazing joy and compassion in preaching them the good news.

But what about those 2.4 BILLION who have never even heard the amazing love and joy of Jesus Christ. Tonight I learned those folks across the entire globe, have never heard the word of God. And in the bible as Christians it is mentioned over 1600 times to go and preach the Gospel across to all nations. From Genesis to Revelations Apparently our walk with Christ is not just about "us" and living in our comfortable Christan lives.I mean from amazing worship music, numerous small groups, access to outreaches, access to bibles, access to counseling, we sure do have it made.

But what about that little Afghan girl who has never heard about Jesus? What about that one Nigerian tribe leader who was blessed with access to drinking water and medical attention for the first time ever? What do they have? God relies on us to travel across the world, show true compassion and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For many this will be the most amazing and impact thing they will ever see. So with that being said they will spread that grace and compassion to their fellow tribesmen or citizens. What Jesus wants us to do is "get our hands dirty". That's how the power of Jesus overcomes the enemy in all parts of the world.

O Come Emanuel

Right now at this stage in my life at this moment and this point in time, I have never felt so comfortable of where I am now and where I am headed. Through trial and tribulation I have come to trust the Lord with everything. I know for a fact that sitting right now writing this with the word by my side and candles lit, that he is next to me. I know for a fact when I sleep the enemy will try to get into my head. But a pure mind and spirit that is compassionate and on fire for Jesus Christ can win any battle.

I am just amazed by his awesomeness by his detail and caring. If only folks knew. Well my brothers and sisters if you would just let me share the amazing life of Jesus Christ and guys like Paul and Timothy. For example Jesus Christ left his family, traveled around the world, preaching the Gospel and good news. Was persecuted but did not give in. Continued to heal the hopeless and sick. And then was crucified. I could not imagine any other man in the world to live a life like this. His stories are inspiring and captivating Jesus and his disciples are the "true gentlemen". They are true gentleman.....because they above all else walk in the light of God.

Nearly 2000 years later I wonder how I can play my part to achieve God's purpose. If tomorrow he asked me to fly to Africa India or even somewhere in the middle east to fight the good fight of faith I would. But you see in my city there are battles still to be fought. And I will be at the front lines.

Sometimes it just amazes how some folks are. If they only knew how much Jesus Christ cared for them. If they only knew how he suffered for them. If they only knew what miracles he is capable of. If they only knew from someone who wandered and struggled with life for so long with no purpose. I guess you can say before all of this things were good. My flesh and image on the outside were really vibrant, but man on the inside there was little to nothing. No purpose, no vision, nothing. At the core that is what shapes a person's actions attitudes and how they treat everyone else.

Looking back I do not know how I got through some rough times without him by my side. Sitting around especially the past couple of days and just thinking about the past has allowed me to do some great reflecting. I don't let my past weigh myself down but rather I use it as fuel for future achievement. This is the amazing glory of God.

I know starting tomorrow its back to the rush of things. This Spring Break I didn't really do much like go hike the Appalachian Trial or go to a tropical paradise. I mean I had opportunities to do both. But instead I wanted to spend a couple of days just reflecting on where God has taken me these past couple of months, and what he is going to do with my life i the future. I am so ready like never before. But I hope with the business of life, I don't grow weary or apethic. I hope instead I just take things more slower, and think more before I act. And most importantly unlike before know that Jesus Christ is always walking by my side.

With all of this free time with being on Spring Break, it has allowed me to dive deeper into the word. It seems like even since the holidays things have been so fast paced. Then all of a sudden I go into what you call "the Jesus fast lane" with a fast, joining a new church/ministry, and all other sorts of opporunities that opened to me since recommiting to Christ. But for some reason I have spiritually grown and developed my walk with Christ by just simply diving into the work. Worship, church, sermons, outreaches, are all amazing tools of glorifying God's kingdom but just spending quality time with him at night or before work helps the most. Maybe its because it is just me and HIM one on one.

Sometimes I'll sit down with my brothers family or friends and they'll tell me about a complicated probelm in a friendship realtionship or situation at work. And they try and create these complex solutions to fix the probelm. If they would just learn to put all of that in God's hands he'll take care of it. I mean give me a break I hate to be blunt sometimes. But personally God rescued me, revealed his purpose for me, gave me the outlet to achieve that purpose, and blessed me with the ability to achieve that purpose ALL IN ONE NIGHT. Simply put it in his hands and let him offer you the solution.

I guess what I am trying to say is some folks are afraid of a gigantic church, but just dive into the word light some candles and your current/long term probelms in his hands. Have trust and faith and he will do wonders my friend.

"he who saves or inspires one can save an entire nation"

There are stages in your life where you could ask yourself, this is not where God has called me to be so how can I bring glory and praise to him? Before I actually had some sort of relationship with God, I always used to complain about how much I had to work and how it is going to get me nowhere. There are so many Kappa Sig functions and other things I could do with my time for example with SG. But walking with him has made me realize no matter if you are serving tables, or even picking up trash do it in the glory of his name. For example when I'm working at Timuquana I always have a smile on my face, I always try to do a bit extra, but sometimes my attitude especially in the past has been so negative. One minute I'll feel good because a member asks me how things are going. But the next minute a fellow employee could say something negative setting me off the deep end. But now I have learned to fight that with something different. Both with co workers and members things are a bit different. Work is the hardest battlefield where the enemy like to play his games.

I have members especially ask me "why are you so cheerful and upbeat, and I would tell them well I as in myself things are going good" But what I have come to realize is that it should be "I am doing this in the name of Jesus Christ who has blessed me with a great personality and compassionate spirit"

In the movie Schinlder's List a gentleman by the name of Oscar Schindler sacrificed his family reputation and life to save 1,800 Jews from death. If captured or arrested by the Nazi' Mr. Schindler his wife and the Jews would be executed. At the end of the Nazi occupation talking with one of the Jews, Mr. Schindler felt guilty because he could of done more. But according to an old Hebrew quote "he who saves or inspires one can save an entire nation". If you are in the process of working where God has called you to be, for now be cheerful in serving all for HIM. Because you do not realize the impact that it will have on your coworkers, family, classmates, brothers, or sisters. Just remember to do it in the name of Jesus Christ who has called you to an amazing life of purpose.

God has given us two hands -- one to receive with, and the other to give with. We are not cisterns made for hoarding; we are channels made for sharing

For the past couple of days I have had lots of time to do some reflecting since its Spring Break and such. It also has allowed me to sort of just kick it back. This semester especially I have been super busy with all sorts of things. Sometimes were always caught in the moment with so many obligations. And we do not realize what we say and do has such a large impact on folks. I could always remember back in the day even driving somewhere I was always in such a rush. I wanted everything on my time schedule. I really never I guess "enjoyed" the moment. And even with some folks if they did something negative I always took it with a grain of salt.

Just diving into the word at night or even before work and praying for a couple of minutes has done wonders. Probably one of the most amazing things that God has brought back into my life is "enjoying the moment". In times of good and even bad I enjoy the path God is leading me. Whether it be people buildings nature a golf course or food (especially southern food) I take a step back and just thank him for leading me to a certain situation. We all have this image of a picture perfect life in the temporal world that we would like to live, but that image should not matter at all. I thought I had it all figured out at one point but through time I found out it was a life full of hypocrisy.

Patience just does not go in your personal life but with others. In recent weeks as I walk with him, he has lead me to help and disciple some of my friends and even folks I have held grudges with for 5 years. I have done some amazing things and said some things to people that are a shock to myself. I know that he day by day is transforming me. No longer and I Eric J. Burke a man full of happiness love and joy for himself friends and brothers, I am Eric J. Burke a man walking with Jesus Christ who is here to serve and disciple. I have tried many things in this world to satisfy my personal flesh, but they have either burnt out or been full of hypocrisy. Now my is full of true happiness

"A good man is not a perfect man; a good man is an honest man, faithful, and unhesitatingly responsive to the voice of God in his life" - John Fischer

First entry I have really no idea what to write about but here we go. I have always been very open about my daily life beliefs thoughts and ideas which is a good thing I guess.

I have been on this amazing journey with Christ for the past couple of months. It has not been the easiest but I do know I am fulfilling why God put me on this Earth. And that is to serve him. For the longest time I was living a false lifestyle for myself. And filling it with temporary forms of happiness. Sure I wasn't hurting anybody but I was not living for God. Through the holy spirit he has blessed me some amazing gifts and talents for me to accomplish his mission. And that is as a Social Studies teachers at the middle/high school in an inner city school. For some the task of working in that type of environment is stressful. But there is a reason why I work so much. There is a reason why I am really active with Kappa Sig. There is a reason why I help out with tutoring/mentoring students at Eugene Butler. There is a reason why I work so hard in school. God is preparing me for that type of stressful environment. In the next year or two I will begin that journey whether it be in Jacksonville or not I really do not know. But I am sure ready. I just thank God and some brothers and friends who "lead me to the cross". Once I arrived there through Jesus Christ I totally surrendered it all. Fears dreams attitude addictions and my past mistakes and tribulations. Not only did Jesus forgive me and erase those things but he help refine my spirit and provided me with much needed guidance in my life. Through fasting prayer and serving him I am now apart of a new family of men and women on FIRE for God.

I played golf with my dad then had dinner with the family today. I do not know what is about the game of golf but it is so calming and easy going. Sometimes it can be frustrating because it tests your patience and mental ability. Hopefully I am going to spend the rest of this week relaxing, catching up with my brothers, homework, and diving into the word.